Here is a story of a trial and event in my life...

In the past I had struggled with a severe form of anxiety/depression. From the time I was about 13 yrs old and once again as I walked into my 20s. The first year Jared and I were married, I was so excited to finally be a wife, but at the same time I was scared to death! I was living far away from home and for different reasons was oppressed with fear. The word oppression means; "the feeling of being heavily burdened, mentally or physically, by troubles, adverse conditions, anxiety, etc." That was my life on a daily basis. I never liked change. I had a personal deep fear of something, or some things and just did not function normally. All I could do was cry and walk around unhappy. Around people I tried to cover it. I truly believe that the enemy got a foothold of my life and I just kept letting it in. This was so different from where I was walking before this had occurred. I had been living in the joy and peace of God and would have never imagined it would get this bad again. I thought I had conquered it. I went through counseling, books, and even started medication. I finally came to a point where I did not experience these obsessive thoughts. If I could I would have gone back and stopped it before it got as strong as it did.

I think about all this because I am now going through Beth Moore's study Breaking Free. It has only been a couple weeks, but it has definitely been digging up some of those places in my life that I remember so clearly. She talks a lot about oppression and how some of the reasons of this experience in our lives are for "testing, a chastisement for rebellion, and lack of submission to God." She speaks about strongholds..what does this mean? Exactly what it says- strong hold.
To be in chains as a Christian is one of the worst things to have to experience. You wonder if you will ever get victory in this. I know that I could never picture victory as I was in the middle of this.

As a new mother, I worry about as my child grows and faces challenges, physical hurts, sicknesses, how I will be able to handle these moments. All children face these things whether its falling while learning to walk to play, seasonal sicknesses, and as they are older the hurts that friends or boys/girls may cause them. As I mentioned at the beginning, I struggle with change. I went through mild postpardum after Addie was born, and now to face other things. I must learn to give each stage and situation to God and when things get tough, to stop and just lay at His feet. I do not want to experience oppression ever again. I want complete victory in it, and I will trust that God will guide me there.